Moving Forward

So, it’s been a few weeks since my last blog post and I apologize friends, so sorry. However, I am back and at it again! I’ve really missed blogging and sharing in my healing process. It has been a crazy little roller-coaster, but right now, I am having more ups than downs. I’ve been semi-dating, which is fine for now. I’ve had fun, to my surprise. I cannot commit to anything at the moment and I am honest with the guys I talk to about my availability. This way they can decide whether or not to continue the friendship or give me the boot. Others, I just cut off immediately, if I see no real potential. The latest date I went on, was really fun. We had a cool, chill dinner date and then did karaoke! It was a great time, I’ll definitely see him again.

In other news, I am doing quite well, emotionally. I spoke to the ex-esposo (ex-husband) recently regarding some pending unresolved matters, but now that we’ve moved past that, I did the inevitable and cut ties. In the thirteen months and sixteen days that we have officially been “unofficial” – we have never gone longer than three months without speaking to each other via text or phone calls. That may not seem like much, and really it isn’t but it is progress. Especially when you had a friendly divorce. We had some shared responsibilities that came with the dissolution of our marriage that made it impossible for us to cut ties completely but now that our final feat with the government is over…

I BLOCKED HIM!

On one hand, I was completely empowered by it and I am actually pretty proud of myself for it. I set the boundary and I am sticking by it. On the other hand, however, I will be honest and say that a piece of me is still grieving that loss of contact. To some of you, it may be silly or stupid, but to those of you that have loved and lost, you feel my pain. It is not easy to let go of things that no longer serve you well. Obed, in all his kindness and gentleness, no longer serves me.

Now, he is nothing but a memory. Maybe later, I will be brave enough to delete him from my contacts. Today, however, is not that day.

I still think of Obed. I miss him, I wonder about him, I wish him well but I will no longer look for him. I’ve decided that in order for me to move forward, I must do so without being attached to my feelings for him. I just want him to be happy, whatever that looks like for him.

Moving on is never easy, and I’m aware that it takes time. Tomorrow, I’ll still love him, but by Friday some of that love is sure to fade away. Or perhaps, I never will stop loving him. But maybe someday someone can walk into my life and make me forget his name…

 

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Dating

Hey y’all! How is everybody doing out there? I have had more good days than bad and now that I have officially been on the market for an entire year, I wanted to touch on the subject of dating! EEEEEEEKKK!!! That word, honestly, makes me cringe a little. It also makes me nervous! I am so not in the game anymore. From the few experiences I have had, post-divorce, I will tell you that dating is definitely not anything I am looking forward to, at all!

Initially, immediately after my divorce was finalized, I had a little “blast from the past” with an old flame. Thankfully, that went no where fast. Now, don’t get me wrong, this guy was fun, we got along great, but he was too needy. We knew each other fairly well when we were younger, and to our core, we are still the same people. However, life happens and you experience different things that grow and mature you in different ways. He was sweet, funny, a very hard worker and also very dramatic! Even my divorce was free of drama. I just couldn’t handle it. We valued and appreciated different things.

So, to make a long story short, this blast from the past, was an eye-opener. It taught me so much about how much I actually needed to be single. I learned that I could like someone that was not Obed and that I actually never lost my groove! Heeeeyyyyyy! I also discovered that I don’t want to be with anyone that “needs” someone. If you are not comfortable in your own skin, I don’t want to be with you. There is nothing sexier than a man that is secure in himself, with or without a mate.

I am a realist! I don’t like to play games and sugar coat things. Some men, can’t handle that. One of my favorite things about Obed, was that he always kept it real. Something, I have found, not many men do. They expect so much from you as a woman, but they don’t follow through when it’s their turn to deliver. What I mean by this, is that you cannot expect more than you put in, in any relationship, period! Also, what’s the rush with getting to know someone? No, I do not want to be your girlfriend after two dates…

Since then, I have just been enjoying my singleness. I’ve been on a few dates, here and there, but no one worth wasting my precious time on. I cannot downgrade from Obed. He was a fine gentleman and taught me a lot about being treated like a lady. Anything less from any man I date, would be a disgrace. I want someone that is going to lead me. A man that is financially stable, career-oriented, educated, interesting and smart. I also need a hustler! If he’s not about his money, we can’t date. My hustle game is strong y’all! I can’t date someone who lacks motivation on the paper chase. I am chasing my own dreams, I make my own $$$’s and unless you can contribute to my hustle, grow me and empower me, I don’t want or need you in my life.

In the meantime, I am open to the idea of dating now, but I am not out looking for love. Right now, I am still learning to love myself more. I know that I don’t want to be single forever, but I also know my worth. If a man can’t come into my life and add value to it, then I don’t want to date him. Above all, I am looking for a friend. Someone that I can be myself with, laugh with, learn from, travel with, be adventurous and real with. My next venture is to go speed dating! It’s something I’ve always wanted to try, just for the fun of it. Maybe, I’ll find Mr. Right on a speed date! ha Or Mr. Right Now, I am good with that too! Until next time my friends! XO

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Happy New Year!

Only 6 days past due, but I still wanted to take the time to thank you all for reading along and following my blog. I appreciate all of the love and support from my friends and followers.

It’s 2017! Happy New Year Y’all!

My wish for each of you is to find whatever it is that you need in this new year. Whether it is love, hope, faith, patience, courage, understanding, peace, comfort, health, happiness, strength, or freedom – find it! Go out into the world and make it your oyster. Create the life that you intend with an open mind and open heart to receive all the blessings you deserve.

I’ve given you all an inkling of what is to come on my blog. When I decided to start blogging, I was still married, my marriage was struggling but I did my best to stay positive and keep it together. I never imagined my marriage would end in divorce, and when it did, I decided that regardless of my circumstance, I still had a story to tell about love, marriage and adventure.

Love, for me is still a beautiful thing. I am not scared of it and I have not given up on it because my heart is still filled with it. Love surrounds me everyday. It is in all the smiles, the sweet and kind gestures, from family, friends, or even strangers. It is the one thing we all believe in or want in our lives.  However, it is also the one thing that not many of us know how to receive or give. The world around us has misconstrued the idea and meaning of what true love is. After my divorce, I learned that love is many wonderful and beautiful things, but it all starts with yourself.

Moving forward, I want to share more with you about my healing journey and of course, still fill you in on all the good, the bad, and the ugly of my short-lived marriage leading to my divorce. I hope you have enjoyed my blog posts thus far and that you continue to follow along. My hope is to encourage you, make you laugh, remind you of your beauty and strength, and ultimately inspire you.

May the new year bring forth all that you are hoping for and dreaming of. Cheers friends, stay warm! XO

 

 

 

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