Jesus Year

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! I made it to my 33rd birthday! This birthday holds a huge significance for me for many reasons, but mostly because this year, I get to spend my 33rd year of life, traveling the world, loving and serving others as Jesus did. How cool is that?

It is also my third year being a divorcee, I am homeless for the first time ever, I am leaving a career behind, along with family and friends and I am stepping into the unknown to embark on this once in a lifetime adventure with a group of strangers and Jesus! #whatismylife?


I am in total awe of what the Lord is doing in my life right now and I have so many emotions about it all. I am happy and sad. Super excited, yet nervous. Totally anxious and just overwhelmed with so many feelings about my departure. I know this is going to be one heck of an adventure but I also know that my heart is going to break, more times than I can ever imagine. Anthony Bourdain once said this:

 “Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.”

I can only hope and pray, that with this trip, I can come into a deeper understanding of who I am, who God has called me to be and that through my actions, others can see more of Jesus in me. That is what I hope to experience and what I also hope to leave behind.

This is my Jesus Year. A year where I get to experience Jesus like never before. I actually had no idea that this was my Jesus Year. My mother actually pointed it out to me when she and my father called at 6:00a.m. to sing me Happy Birthday! But how amazing, to know that God has gifted me this life and is granting me this opportunity to go out into the nations and make disciples? I can’t wait to share in this journey with you.

To follow and subscribe to my blog, go here. Thank you, and Happy Birthday to me! Cheers!

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ENTER: New Season

In 18 short days I will be 33 years old friends. That is 33 years of failures, mistakes, mercy and grace. Thank you Jesus, Hallelujah!

Before I proceed any further, however, let me start out by apologizing for being MIA. If you kept up with the last post, you know that life for me has been a little hectic. I’ve been in a season of heartache, trauma and recovery. Things haven’t quite been a walk in the park but nonetheless, I still have a lot to be thankful for. Moving forward, I am really excited about this new month and new season I am about to enter into. I was asked recently, where I thought I was in this season of my life and I really believe that I am on the forefront of entering into the land that overflows with milk and honey. You see, for a long time, I have been in this season of waiting and in a sense I still am, as I wait on God’s promises to me.

BUT turning 33 is going to be such a huge blessing. I have been through 3 whole decades of life. If you divide my upcoming age by 3 (The Holy Trinity), you get 11. The number of countries I am visiting on my missions trip! How cool is that? No real relevance, other than I think about things like that and how they hold meaning in my life. This next year is going to be a year of rest for me. Not because I won’t have my career or like I am going to be on a permanent vacation, but rather resting in God’s love and presence. I can hardly wait. Just preparing for this upcoming trip has given me an interesting perspective as to how God uses everything that happens in our lives, whether good or bad, for His glory.

Right now, I am in a place of peace. I am still in therapy and attending a trauma support group to help with my healing. I’ve been having more good days than bad and I can finally say that I am embracing this season of growth I am in. Things are uncomfortable, I am homeless, still fundraising but I am living. I feel like absolutely everything I have been through in recent months has just been preparing me for what is yet to come.

I am still learning to be still and trusting that God will do what He says He will. Even when my circumstance says all the contrary. What about you? Where are you in your life right now?

I have to be honest. As much as I give God the praise and glory for all He is doing, some days I still wonder, just how things will all work together for my good. I’m leaving my job shortly, giving up my car, living in my nieces living room and some days are just hard. It’s weird not being independent and having your own space. Sometimes, I don’t even understand what my life is right now. It feels so surreal. Things are about to change – drastically.

Everyone and everything I have ever known and loved is staying here, in the U.S. while I give it all up to go live my life in abandon. Traveling around the world, never staying in one place too long. Away from all the comfortable and familiar things in order to live and love like Jesus did when He walked this earth. It seems a little crazy, but I know it will be worth it. I am as ready as I’ll ever be.

Here’s to turning 33! Good day friends, I’ll blog more later. Just wanted to give a little update and say hi. God bless you all!

P.S. If you aren’t already subscribed to my World Race blog, you can do so here. Enjoy!


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Bajo El Agua

The past few weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind for me. I have moved, I have had to deal with loss and most recently, I was assaulted at gunpoint. Yep! You read that right. It was the most awful experience of my life to date. It’s been quite the process, but I am doing my best to deal with the trauma of it all and I have found that blogging and talking about it helps.

I have felt so lost, confused, lonely and irritated by this. It’s been a rush of different emotions. I’ve felt angry, frustrated, paranoid, and of course grateful, but man! When I tell you that I am on a roller coaster of emotions, I don’t even think that adequately describes my emotional state. Thankfully, today, I am going to see a therapist that specializes in trauma and I am also attending a trauma support group. Definitely looking forward to both.

Right now, I feel “bajo el agua” (underwater) like I am literally drowning in water with a need for fresh air. Sometimes I get severe anxiety just thinking about what transpired. I just keep thinking that I am going to see this person again. Like a scene from a scary movie, where Michael Myers or Jason just pop up out of nowhere in your back yard as you look out the window at night. It’s such a horrible feeling. I am carrying a gun with me at all times now. I can’t sleep well. I’m constantly paranoid and scared of just doing the normal things I would always do, even as simple as stopping for gas.

I suppose in a way it is good that I am more aware of my surroundings. I’ve always been a very free-spirited, fearless and bold person, always finding and seeing the best in others. Never in a million years would I have considered or even thought that this would happen to me. It has definitely been a life changing experience. I just hate that this happened. I hate how it makes me feel and I hate that I am uneasy around every black male since the incident. It is awful and not how I want to live my life.

Today, however, I am looking forward to taking the necessary steps toward healing from this trauma. I have a ton of people praying for me and over me. I know that God still has a plan and purpose for my life. I’m just trusting that God will deliver me from the feelings I have from this experience. I know it will take time, but God is healer and I know that if I continue to keep my eyes on Him, He will direct my path.

God is reminding me of how truly special I am to Him. He holds me in the palm of His hand. I am forever grateful for His love, protection and provision in my life. I am reminded that He is my provider, my husband and my keeper. With everything going on it’s been easy to start missing Obed, but God is who I need to lean on. Obed is a wonderful person and I am sure if he were aware of what has happened he would be there for me, no doubt. However, God is calling me to lean into Him and not into anyone else for comfort. I do still miss Obed of course, especially right now, but God is my comforter.

In the midst of everything, even in the difficult moments when I wish Obed was around, God reminds me that I am not alone. He is there for me and was there for me that night. He shielded and protected me and for that, I am forever grateful.

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Obedience > Sacrifice

  1. compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another’s authority.
  1. an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.

I wanted to start this blog off with the definitions of obedience and sacrifice in order to tell y’all a little story about my life. Currently, I am exactly 2 years and 6 months to date into this whole divorce thing. You may even be wondering why I am still blogging about this, huh? Well…lessons, that’s why.

This blog is dedicated to my healing journey. It has been my refuge and way to make sense of what exactly happened in my marriage and help encourage you or even save your marriage. I am no marriage expert, but I do know now, what it takes to have a healthy marriage.

Initially, I named my blog “Marriage à la Carte” because I was married to a chef. I thought it was cute, and I wanted to talk about all the things you have to bring into the marriage to make it successful – you know? À la carte!

Marriage is like preparing for a 3 course meal. You have this idea in your mind of what it will be like, a vision. You’ve got to bring things to the table. You make a meal plan, you get the ingredients and you give it a whirl!

I’ve learned that marriage is made up of many parts. We don’t always get what we put in, but we still have to pour something into the pot. Love, respect, honor, patience, trust, humility, forgiveness, honesty and faithfulness are all things you need in marriage, but it doesn’t always come with it. You have to bring that into the marriage.

Marriage is an empty pot. An excellent meal doesn’t just come together because you have all the ingredients. You have to add the ingredients to the dish you are preparing, at the right time, at the right temperatures, in a specific order so that the dish you have in mind, comes together tastefully. The same is true in marriage.

Love doesn’t automatically make your marriage successful. Neither does respect, honor, patience, trust, humility, forgiveness, honesty and faithfulness. What makes your marriage successful is knowing when to show your partner love, learning what it means to respect their boundaries and their person. Honoring them when they don’t even necessarily deserve it. Learning to be patient with them and trusting they will do the same with you. Humbling yourself before them and most importantly before God. Forgiving them 70 times 7. Being honest and faithful to your partner at all times and combining all these things together, is what makes the perfect recipe for a successful marriage.

How does obedience and sacrifice tie into all this? Well, lemme esplain!

It took me divorcing Obed to learn about “Obedience”. It still makes me chuckle! God has a sense of humor. It may be the biggest lesson I’ve learned from my divorce. Obedience to God and obedience to my husband. It becomes greater than sacrifice, because it proves that we are able to be submissive to God’s calling on our lives, and submissive to the authority that God gave man over his wife.

Obedience is the highest form of flattery and worship to the Lord.

Sacrifice is great and important too, but when it goes up against obedience, it loses it’s power. Another important lesson for my own life. I think about how much I prayed for my marriage to be saved and how strongly I believed that God would save it. When He didn’t, I was angry and thought about the sacrifices I was making to “gain” that which I really wanted in my life: my marriage.

All the while, God revealed to me that the sacrifice I actually needed to make was giving up my marriage in order to pursue Him. Was my relationship with God not more important than my relationship with my husband? So I let it go. I gave it up. I even stopped praying for it entirely.

Now, I am actively pursuing God’s will for my life. Obed is no longer an active part of my life. He is a friend, someone I still love and admire for many reasons, but he isn’t my focus. For a long time, I wanted so badly to preserve my relationship with him in hopes of us reconciling, but now I only want to reconcile myself to God, every single day.

The rest lies in His hands and I am willing to wait upon the Lord, whatever that looks like for my life.



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There isn’t really anything I need to say today, other than I wish you the best. I’ll keep your number saved.

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A National Poetry Month Treat

In honor of National Poetry Month, I want to share with you some of my poems. I tend to write a lot in Spanish, but I will do my best to translate them to English. They sometimes lose their significance or beauty, but I want to share with all my readers a little piece of my heart. They are a series of things I have felt throughout my healing journey.  I hope you enjoy them. Provecho!

DREAMS (translated)

You told me that you dreamt me, and I told you I dreamt you too. In fact all I do is dream of you. We are living our lives so wrapped up in memories of the love we once shared. You miss me and I miss you more. You look for me but you don’t love me. I love you but I don’t look for you. You deny it, I don’t hide it. I dream of you to see you, you dream of me to love me. When you awake, you think of me, but you’re afraid of letting it show. You’re scared.

I am scared too. I am scared of losing you forever, you all the contrary. You are scared of having me forever, because you know, that with just one kiss and feeling my body next to yours, you lose all control.

You dream of me and I dream of you. It is the only way that we can be together forever…

These next set of short poems are ones that I wrote early on, post divorce. This is my heart and how I felt in that moment.

HEART (translated)

My heart is still in love. My heart still feels hopeless. My heart is still wounded. My heart is still hanging in your hands.

MIND (translated) 

You are still on my mind, day and night. I think of you, I miss you, I love you. My mind doesn’t know how to forget you, my heart much less.

SOUL (translated)

You are the love of my life. You have penetrated my heart to the very depth of my soul. Your love still exists inside me.

Here they are in Spanish, in their native form. I think I write best in Spanish, because the language is so beautiful and romantic.


Tu me sueñas, y to te sueño. Vivimos nuestras vidas enredadas en nuestras memorias del amor que un dia compartimos. Tu me extrañas, y yo te extraño mas. Pero tu lo niegas y yo te lo expresso con mi mirar. Te sueño para ver te, tu me sueñas para amar me. Cuando despiertas, me piensas, pero no quieres dejarte llevar por lo que realmente sientes, tienes miedo.

Yo tengo miedo de perder te para siempre, tu todo lo contrario. Tienes miedo de tener me. Porque sabes que al besar me y sentir mi cuerpo junto al tuyo pierdes el control.

Tu me sueñas, y yo te sueño. Es la unica manera que podemos estar juntos para siempre…


Mi corazon sige enamorado. Mi corazon sige desahuciado. Mi corazon sige lastimado. Mi corazon sige colgando en tus manos.


Tu siges en mi mente, dia y noche. Te pienso, te extraño, te amo. Mi mente no sabe olvidarte. Mi corazon menos.


Tu eres el amor de mi vida. Te has penetrado hasta lo mas profundo de mi alma. Siges tan dentro de mi.


Gracias a todos por dejar me compartir un pedaso de mi. Thank you for letting me share a little piece of me. 


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A Reflection of My Heart

Today, I have been divorced for 2 years, 3 months and 11 days…

I cannot even begin to tell y’all what a blessing my divorce has been to my life. It is the single, most tragic, yet absolutely beautiful, life-changing thing that could have ever wrecked my life. It is amazing how things that are meant to break us and shake up our lives, can still allow for so much growth and beauty in our lives.

Perspective – that is what my divorce has given me. It has helped make and mold me into the woman that I am today.  I can’t stress to you enough, how going through this experience was the best-worst thing that could have ever happened to me.

When Obed and I divorced, I thought we were in a fairly decent place. I was excelling in my career, as was he. We were struggling, but I was determined to make things work. We started counseling and it was going great. Then suddenly, a major shift happened and it was not a good one. I was so frustrated and focused on all the things wrong in our marriage instead of focusing on the good. Despite the progress we were making, in my mind, it was not happening fast enough. I wanted Obed to realize his faults and flaws but I never for a moment considered my own. I just thought he was wrong and that he was the problem in our marriage.

Control. That is what I wanted and what I kinda always intended in my marriage. Obed was sweet. He was very patient with me. He hardly ever went up against anything I wanted. I was spoiled. He treated me so kind and always did everything in his power to make sure I felt good. He was selfless in our marriage. I wasn’t.

Now, I was good to him too, but I was not patient at all. I admired and adored him for so many reasons, but I was also very selfish. I loved getting my way and enjoyed our marriage when Obed was doing the things I wanted him to. Some would say I was probably a bitch to him. My family actually always brought things to my attention about my participation in my marriage. They saw the way I didn’t always honor Obed in our marriage. I never listened though. I knew what I was doing, and I knew Obed would never leave me…until he did.

Looking back now…man (sigh), it hurts my heart sometimes. It is a tough pill to swallow. As much as I like to think I was such a good wife to Obed, in reality, I wasn’t. There were so many things he needed from me that I never gave to him. There were definitely a lot of things I needed from him too, but when we accept responsibility for ourselves and our actions, it helps make sense of why certain things transpired in our marriage.

Whatever was in my cup (my heart) was what I was pouring out into my marriage. When it was good, it was amazing! But when it was bad…it was ugly! I did and said things to Obed that were just awful. Instead of lifting my husband up and acknowledging all the goodness in him, I chose to magnify all his faults and flaws. I pointed out everything that was wrong in him, without thinking twice about myself and how I was affecting my own marriage. Instead of magnifying my God in my marriage, I magnified our problems. I didn’t know how to fight fair. All I thought about was myself and how I wasn’t happy in our marriage.

As time has gone on and I have taken my divorce one day at a time, I can recognize how I contributed to the demise of my marriage. I understand now how I never listened to the things that Obed asked of me. I realize, that marriage is not only about “you” and what you get out of it. It is more about what you put into it. It is about loving your spouse where ever they are, in good times and in bad.

Marriage is about choosing to love your spouse, even when they are unlovable.

Marriage is hard work, no doubt. However, if you take a look at yourself first before you point out all the ways your spouse is failing you in your marriage, you might find that they are not the problem. You may discover that you have your own issues that you need to work through. Your husband or your wife is not responsible for your happiness. You are. They are just there to support you. They are your picker upper, when things aren’t quite right. Your spouse should be the person you confide in the most to help you be the best version of yourself possible. & if they aren’t healthy and happy, pray for them. Think about how you can show them grace, the way that God shows us grace every single day.

How can you love your spouse more like Christ loves us? Are you magnifying your problems instead of magnifying your God? Are you creating more problems in your marriage instead of creating a solution? Or have you even considered for a moment, that there is something you could be doing differently in your marriage?

Love your spouse. React to them in love, instead of lashing out. Honor them and check yourself first, before you start pointing fingers. Don’t think for one second that you are not responsible for where you are in your marriage – whether it is good or bad. Check the condition of your heart and it will change the condition of your marriage.

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Love is Attentive

The very first time that Obed and I ever had an argument, I was out of town. We were on the phone and I was having 2 conversations at the same time. I was with one of my besties and as I was speaking to Obed, I kept engaging in conversation with her too. Obed was not particularly fond of me continuing a conversation while I had him on the line. In the moment I thought, he was overreacting. I could not understand what the big deal was.

However, once we discussed his feelings about the situation, I understood why he was bothered. In our entire relationship, time was always working against us. Every moment was important to him. I remember him telling me, that he would rather me let him go and call him back later than for him to be sitting on the line in silence, listening to me engage in conversation with someone else. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it, but now I understand the rules of phone etiquette much better.

It is rude to not give the person on the phone your undivided attention. It is also rude to answer the phone in the presence of others in certain scenarios. In this particular situation, Obed and I were newly dating. My bestie and I were on a road trip and he was calling to check on me. I answered his call and continued to chat it up with her while I had him on the phone. He was on his break at work and he didn’t have much time to chat but he made it a point to call and make sure we had made it safe to our destination. From that point forward, it was always an issue when I did not give him my undivided attention and rightfully so.

I always felt like he was just finding something to complain about, but as I matured I understood why it was bothersome to him. When I spoke to him and he would put me on hold for literally 5 seconds, I would get frustrated. It was a double standard. I always expected him to give me his undivided attention but I wouldn’t do the same for him. It may seem like something so trivial, but there is an important lesson here. RESPECT.

Now I am not saying that you can’t say, “Hey can you hold on one second? I have to do X Y Z…” I am simply stating that when we engage in conversation with others, we have to be mindful of the attention we are giving them. It’s ok to say, “Hey, I am right in the middle of something, can I call you right back?” instead of acting as if you have time for someone, when you really don’t. Right now, we are living in a world where everyone is constantly on their cells, we do a million different things at once and completely disregard how we share our time and space with others. That is something I learned in my own marriage and about my own actions.

While O and I were married, we made it a point to put away our phones when we were together. Unless of course we had some selfie action going on, that was always fair game! Now, that I am single and go on the occasional date here and there, I make it a point to put my phone away. We should be mindful of sharing our time and space with others and remember to be fully present. I know for me personally, if I am with a guy and he is constantly on his phone it is a huge turn off. It definitely decreases his chances of hanging out with me again.

When in company, I try my best to make it a point to be completely present and give that person or group of people my undivided attention. There is something very sweet and thoughtful about it. It means this person is engaging and is fully committed to making the most out of your time together. Quality time is what they call it, right? In a world full of social media – sometimes, it’s nice to just be present in the moment and not always try to capture everything. Another thing I learned from Obed. This is a guy that literally never took selfies, unless he was with me. He didn’t have any social media accounts and I honestly loved that about him too.

All this, just to share my thoughts on phone etiquette and how we can express our respect and love for others by being attentive.

When you are spending time with others, be present, be attentive and be mindful of their time.

Lessons learned.




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Gratitude, Beauty & Lashes

Well hello again friends! How is everyone doing out there? Are you happy to be entering into February? I know I am! There is a lot to be thankful about as this month comes to an end. How many of you made New Year resolutions? Are you staying on track? I honestly am not a resolution person, but I do believe in goal setting. My main goal for this month was to stay rooted in the Word. I have been very intentional about seeking more of God and spending time with Him, each day, preferably in the mornings, as I enjoy the sunrise. There is something so serene about waking up at dawn and spending some quiet time with the Lord. It helps set the tone for my day and allows me to view my life from a place of gratitude.

So today or tonight, when ever you read this, I want to challenge you today to just take a moment, take one deep breath and visualize what you are most grateful for in this day. Then do it again tomorrow, and again the next day. I promise you, your days – no matter how good or bad they are, you will always be able to find something to be grateful for. Try it!

To catch you up on how I am doing: I am in-love with this super cool, exciting place I am in right now in my life. Every year, I try to choose a word that sets a theme for my life in this new year. This year, I chose the word RENEW. If you have been following my blog for some time now, this may not come as a surprise to you. I have been through the most challenging yet rewarding time of my life with my divorce. Through it, I discovered so much about myself and I have grown from my experience into a whole, unique and new person. It is amazing how God transforms us, especially through our brokenness.

These past two years, as I have been dealing with unresolved issues, working my way through my own guilt and shame about what transpired in my marriage and divorce. It has been a season of pruning and restoration. God has renewed spirit and mended me. I learned so much about what it means to be at peace in my solitude and how to find comfort in the Lord instead of things or people. Granted, there were a ton of wonderful people that prayed over me and encouraged me along the way too. However, God is healer.

I’ve found so much beauty in the ashes. Right when I thought the worst of my life and couldn’t see the light in the darkness, God was there. What is most exciting though about my journey, is not just the healing and growth that has taken place, but the fact that I am able to live out some of my most wildest dreams. I’m doing things that I love. I am encouraging others in the same ways that people comforted me. I can’t even begin to tell you how many “divorce talks” I have had, with people entering the same season I once found myself in, and the hope I am able to share with them about what God can do through the pain. It is pretty incredible to be able to see God use my testimony for His glory.

Aside from that, I have also been presented with so many cool and fun opportunities to do more of the things that I love. I’m learning music, I am singing more, I’m drawing and painting, I am writing, I’m part of a book club…

There is literally just so much goodness in my life, it is pretty hard to focus on anything else but that. Even on my worst days, my life is pretty peachy! My life is well-rounded right now. I won’t say that I don’t miss having a companion, because there are times that I do. More than anything though, I am just excited to see how God continues to use me, make me and mold me.

Lastly, I want to share how bomb Lash Boost is! Y’all this stuff seriously works!!!! I previously reported, here, about an opportunity I had to be a product tester for a sweet friend of mine. She sells R + F Products (Rodan + Fields) and I had been very much impressed with the results she kept posting about her lashes and I just knew I needed to get my hands on it. Sure enough, we worked out a little deal and wala – guess who has gorgeous lashes now? Yup! I sure do. If you are interested in purchasing some product or learning more about R + F, reach out to my friend here. You won’t regret it.


Well gals, that is it for now. I’ll type y’all later!

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Lonesome Dove, NYE + Aspirations

Happy New Year! 2018 is here y’all!

This is going to be a year of great challenges and great reward. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me.  In case you didn’t already know, I am going on a missions trip this year. I leave August 2018 to embark on this incredible journey, with complete strangers to go love and serve people. The World Race is an 11 month mission trip to 11 different countries around the world to help people in their communities, with whatever their need is, but most importantly sharing the love of God. Cool huh?

Aside from that, I am also just excited because for whatever reason, even though it’s just another day, it’s January 5, 2018 and it is the beginning of a new year and endless possibilities. In reality, however, every day is filled with the exact same possibilities, but we choose to resolve to do things because the “New Year” somehow represents a “New Beginning”. Ha

Plus it’s fun to just take a look back on your life, reflect and look ahead to the future with hope that we are achieving our life purpose…

Or at least I do.

How is everyone tho? Did y’all make any new year resolutions? I honestly am not a fan of making resolutions in particular, I just try to be better every single day.

I rang in the new year all by lonesome with my gato (cat) at home. We watched fireworks from my balcony and it was very peaceful and wonderful way to celebrate the new year. Earlier that night, I joined some friends for dinner celebrating one of my besties birthdays at Lonesome Dove in Ft. Worth. It was fantastic. Food was amazing and they offered a 5 course NYE meal. We had a wonderful time.

As far as my healing journey goes – I can say with confidence that I am much better than I ever have been. If I am resolving to do anything this year, it is just to be more open to receive whatever the Lord has for me. I want to be more kind, not just to myself, but to others. My wish is to be more like Jesus, and less like me. I want to be love and be light in the lives of others.

What about y’all? What are your goals and aspirations for the new year? Oh and this time, I promise to be a much better blogger! Ha

¡Feliz año nuevo!

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