Hey y’all! How is everybody doing out there? I have had more good days than bad and now that I have officially been on the market for an entire year, I wanted to touch on the subject of dating! EEEEEEEKKK!!! That word, honestly, makes me cringe a little. It also makes me nervous! I am so not in the game anymore. From the few experiences I have had, post-divorce, I will tell you that dating is definitely not anything I am looking forward to, at all!
Initially, immediately after my divorce was finalized, I had a little “blast from the past” with an old flame. Thankfully, that went no where fast. Now, don’t get me wrong, this guy was fun, we got along great, but he was too needy. We knew each other fairly well when we were younger, and to our core, we are still the same people. However, life happens and you experience different things that grow and mature you in different ways. He was sweet, funny, a very hard worker and also very dramatic! Even my divorce was free of drama. I just couldn’t handle it. We valued and appreciated different things.
So, to make a long story short, this blast from the past, was an eye-opener. It taught me so much about how much I actually needed to be single. I learned that I could like someone that was not Obed and that I actually never lost my groove! Heeeeyyyyyy! I also discovered that I don’t want to be with anyone that “needs” someone. If you are not comfortable in your own skin, I don’t want to be with you. There is nothing sexier than a man that is secure in himself, with or without a mate.
I am a realist! I don’t like to play games and sugar coat things. Some men, can’t handle that. One of my favorite things about Obed, was that he always kept it real. Something, I have found, not many men do. They expect so much from you as a woman, but they don’t follow through when it’s their turn to deliver. What I mean by this, is that you cannot expect more than you put in, in any relationship, period! Also, what’s the rush with getting to know someone? No, I do not want to be your girlfriend after two dates…
Since then, I have just been enjoying my singleness. I’ve been on a few dates, here and there, but no one worth wasting my precious time on. I cannot downgrade from Obed. He was a fine gentleman and taught me a lot about being treated like a lady. Anything less from any man I date, would be a disgrace. I want someone that is going to lead me. A man that is financially stable, career-oriented, educated, interesting and smart. I also need a hustler! If he’s not about his money, we can’t date. My hustle game is strong y’all! I can’t date someone who lacks motivation on the paper chase. I am chasing my own dreams, I make my own $$$’s and unless you can contribute to my hustle, grow me and empower me, I don’t want or need you in my life.
In the meantime, I am open to the idea of dating now, but I am not out looking for love. Right now, I am still learning to love myself more. I know that I don’t want to be single forever, but I also know my worth. If a man can’t come into my life and add value to it, then I don’t want to date him. Above all, I am looking for a friend. Someone that I can be myself with, laugh with, learn from, travel with, be adventurous and real with. My next venture is to go speed dating! It’s something I’ve always wanted to try, just for the fun of it. Maybe, I’ll find Mr. Right on a speed date! ha Or Mr. Right Now, I am good with that too! Until next time my friends! XO