I often joked with Obed about how we went together “like lamb and tuna fish”. Two extreme opposites, yet could totally work with the right ingredients. I’ve also heard that if you like two things separately, you would most likely also like them together. You know, like peanut butter and pickles, chocolate covered raisins and popcorn or French fries and mayo – just to name a few of my favorite tasty snack combos!
The fact that I am currently divorced sucks. I cannot even begin to explain to you how excruciatingly painful, emotional and all around shitty the experience of divorce is. It fucking sucks! Plain and simple. There ain’t no sugar coatin’ it y’all! & pardon my French but sometimes, there just ain’t a better word! It doesn’t even matter what happened, who did what, who you think is at fault, who wanted out and/or how good or bad the marriage was. Divorce is divorce and it is the one thing you never get married for. No one marries with the intention to divorce. Especially not when you grew up in evangelism and understand the great value and sanctity of a marriage.
The fact is that Obed and I are lamb and tuna fish. We are two complete and extreme opposites, but if we both wanted to make it work, we could have. Maybe, we just didn’t have the right ingredients. Would lamb and tuna fish taste good together? Eh. Maybe, maybe not. One day, I may put it to the test! As for Obed and I, we were definitely a strange concoction but
“We loved with a love that was more than love.” (Quote from Edgar Allen Poe’s Annabel Lee)
In everyone’s eyes around us we were a perfect couple although we were far from it. Our love was beautiful, passionate and deep. Our marriage was a lot of fun things too, but it was also difficult, like most marriages. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication. As well as time and effort and as a Chef or Chef Wife, time always works against you. Which is funny to me, because time is the one thing we have the most of in the world. Yet, it never quite seems like enough, right?
Fortunately for me, time is said to heal all wounds, so I am counting on that to get through this period of my life. My marriage to Obed was and will always remain one of the most intimate, deep and absolutely delicious experiences of my life. Like the very first bite of a delicate and exquisite dish, you savor it. You always remember the best and worst foods you’ve ever eaten in your life and just like that, divorce is a reminder of all the best and worst moments in your marriage. Overall, I will say that whatever happened in our marriage was simply just like adding too much or even too little salt, pepper or chile to a dish. It doesn’t always work out but at least you tried.
I am actually doing quite well, given my circumstance. I have good days and bad. Some, more emotional than others. There are days where you don’t want to do a damn thing but just cry. Then I remember, I am Latina, and María Félix (Mexican film actress and singer) says we should only cry for a man for 3 days and on the 4th day, we put on our high heels and new clothes and we keep on strutting!
I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I do know that with every ending chapter in our lives, a new one begins, but it is up to us to write how our story will end. We have to own our failures and our successes, but always remembering to keep loving ourselves through the process.