O & A Heartbreak

If you and I have never actually met and you know absolutely nothing about my life, this will just be a story of marriage and divorce. If you know me personally, well let me explain the situation a bit before you get all “mo” on me.

First things first, people don’t get married thinking their marriage will end in divorce. You marry because you feel it in your heart that this person you love is your forever. Unfortunately for me, my forever barely lasted four years and my happily ever after ended right when I thought Obed and I had a pretty good grip on our life plan. I lived a pretty sweet life by his side. We ate at all the greatest places. He always gifted me gorgeous “just because” flowers and I always tried to be his biggest fan and supporter as a Chef Wife. We were working towards some pretty big dreams but somewhere along the way, we flipped the script and suddenly found each other on very different pages. We were both so fixated on our goals and dreams that we lost focus of the most important thing, which should have been our marriage.

Here’s the thing, O and I are indeed divorced. We are not “friends” but we are on good terms. We respect each other and we are cordial. Our divorce was far from ugly and I am pretty sure we still love each other but we are in two very different places in life. My choice was never to divorce. No woman ever wants to be in my place but it happens y’all! If it does, you trust in God, you accept things for what they are and you focus on getting yourself to a better state. It doesn’t mean that you have failed because your marriage has. It does not mean that your life is over and it definitely does not mean that you are NOT loved. Ironically enough, I have never felt more loved in my life. I have the best family and friends to support me and lift my spirit. They are my living proof that show me daily that I am definitely loved. So shout out to la familia and all my cool ass homies for gifting me love! Divorce is a bitch, I am not gonna lie. It sucks, but you know what else sucks? Pitty Parties! So– let’s just move right along, shall we?

I originally intended this blog to be about all the fun, happy and sappy moments of what being married to a chef was all about. Now,­­­­­­ this blog has inadvertently changed into my refuge. It is my self-therapy. It is my diary, my advice and my everlasting lessons of the many joys and pains of life, love, passion and la cocina! I still plan on sharing with you all the highs and lows of what to expect when marrying a chef, because contrary to everyone’s belief, he will cook for the entire world except for you! I hope you stick around and bear with me as I navigate my way through this new journey of singlehood, rollercoaster of emotions and explore all the new endless possibilities that the pain of divorce leaves you with. I know my situation is not ideal, but nonetheless, I am here and if I know one thing about divorce – I know that I won’t be the first or the last woman to ever go through it! Now that I’ve put that out there: BRACE YOURSELVES FRIENDS & LET ME BLOG ABOUT IT!

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UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Be patient dear friends, my blog is launching soon! In the meantime, enjoy one of my favorite love poems.

“If You Forget Me”
By Pablo Neruda


I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists:
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.


 

 

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