Have any of you ever felt like something is missing in your life? Like you know you are on the right path and you are making progress but you just feel slightly overwhelmed? Sometimes, I feel like I am not where I want to be. Other times I feel confident in the direction that I am going and when I reflect on where I have been and where I am now, I find peace because I know I am exactly where I need to be.
Life isn’t always perfect, but it is always beautiful – you just have to stop to take notice.
Before I go on, let me apologize once again for being a bit of a slacker. I haven’t been on my blog game lately but I am re-committing myself to you all – my avid followers. Thank you for supporting my journey into bloghood! ha I have been working behind the scenes, however. I am connecting and networking with other bloggers and like-minded individuals to help me crush my goals. I want to build a successful blog and following. So, recently, I have been working on learning more about the blog hustle and venturing into other new business opportunities. A little progress each day, adds up – they say.
So, let me tell you about where I am right now. I hadn’t really had the time to blog recently because I have been “parenting”. Recently, my 18 year old niece and all her “wizdumb” has made herself a part-time living headquarter at none other than my tiny little Dallas loft. It has been challenging to say the least. I am not a parent, I don’t necessarily even like kids all that much if I am being honest, or at least not for too long, so you can imagine how I am dealing.
She costs me lots of money, I have to gripe at her for being irresponsible, and I also have to be wise in how I advise her. She just graduated high school, she thinks she has life figured out and well, she is also a brat. Now, don’t get me wrong, she is a good kid (or at least better than I was at her age) but she’s been through things that many people can’t understand. I won’t share her story, because it is not mine to tell. However, I will say that I have learned some things through the process.
I know that parents can’t always direct our paths as much as they’d like to. I also understand that parents can’t always save their children. I’ve taken on a responsibility that doesn’t necessarily belong to me, but I do it because I love my niece. I also do it because I love my sister and I hope that she knows, and all my siblings know that I love their children as if they were my own. I will always lend a helping hand, if I am able. The main thing however that I’ve picked up on during this season of my life, is that growth has to happen on it’s own.
How many mistakes did you make growing up? How many times did you roll your eyes at your parents, because you knew what was best? If you are like me, it was probably a lot. I have also learned that as wise as parents are and as much as they truly want what is best for us, they don’t always have the answer or know exactly what is actually best. We have to make our own lives, our own mistakes, our own choices, in order to live and to learn.
Apart from parenting, I have also found myself in this period of rekindling of my soul with my God. After my divorce, I really grew deeper in my relationship with Christ and I am still growing now. However, there are times when I feel forsaken, but I know that is not true. Those feelings come from a place of disobedience. Like I keep telling and asking God for certain things in my life and He shows me, and sometimes I don’t like the answer and I try again, ignoring the fact that He’s already heard my prayer and delivered. You see, the answers we seek, are not always the answers we want. Our flesh is weak and we want things to go a “certain” way but God does not work like that. He gives us what we NEED.
I have needed a lot of things, post divorce – healing, peace, joy, comfort, etc. & when I tell you that God is so faithful and He makes all things new, I mean it. Healing takes time. Growth is involved in feeling peace, joy and comfort in our times of sorrow. It is not always easy. Some days will be very difficult to get through, but when you come out on the other side – you can appreciate the beauty in your process.
Just like a diamonds and pearls are formed through great pressure and irritation; we are also made beautiful through our trials.
Right now, I am at a place of serenity. I have forgiven and re-forgiven. I have made peace with my own mistakes and failures. I’ve taken responsibility for myself and my actions and I have opened up my mind and my heart to receive whatever God has for me next. My heart is happy and my soul is well. How are you doing?
Please write me if there is anything that I can help you pray for. It would be a great honor, dear friend. “May the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.” – Numbers 6:24-26
Until next time my friends! XO