A National Poetry Month Treat

In honor of National Poetry Month, I want to share with you some of my poems. I tend to write a lot in Spanish, but I will do my best to translate them to English. They sometimes lose their significance or beauty, but I want to share with all my readers a little piece of my heart. They are a series of things I have felt throughout my healing journey.  I hope you enjoy them. Provecho!

DREAMS (translated)

You told me that you dreamt me, and I told you I dreamt you too. In fact all I do is dream of you. We are living our lives so wrapped up in memories of the love we once shared. You miss me and I miss you more. You look for me but you don’t love me. I love you but I don’t look for you. You deny it, I don’t hide it. I dream of you to see you, you dream of me to love me. When you awake, you think of me, but you’re afraid of letting it show. You’re scared.

I am scared too. I am scared of losing you forever, you all the contrary. You are scared of having me forever, because you know, that with just one kiss and feeling my body next to yours, you lose all control.

You dream of me and I dream of you. It is the only way that we can be together forever…

These next set of short poems are ones that I wrote early on, post divorce. This is my heart and how I felt in that moment.

HEART (translated)

My heart is still in love. My heart still feels hopeless. My heart is still wounded. My heart is still hanging in your hands.

MIND (translated) 

You are still on my mind, day and night. I think of you, I miss you, I love you. My mind doesn’t know how to forget you, my heart much less.

SOUL (translated)

You are the love of my life. You have penetrated my heart to the very depth of my soul. Your love still exists inside me.

Here they are in Spanish, in their native form. I think I write best in Spanish, because the language is so beautiful and romantic.

SUEÑOS

Tu me sueñas, y to te sueño. Vivimos nuestras vidas enredadas en nuestras memorias del amor que un dia compartimos. Tu me extrañas, y yo te extraño mas. Pero tu lo niegas y yo te lo expresso con mi mirar. Te sueño para ver te, tu me sueñas para amar me. Cuando despiertas, me piensas, pero no quieres dejarte llevar por lo que realmente sientes, tienes miedo.

Yo tengo miedo de perder te para siempre, tu todo lo contrario. Tienes miedo de tener me. Porque sabes que al besar me y sentir mi cuerpo junto al tuyo pierdes el control.

Tu me sueñas, y yo te sueño. Es la unica manera que podemos estar juntos para siempre…

CORAZON

Mi corazon sige enamorado. Mi corazon sige desahuciado. Mi corazon sige lastimado. Mi corazon sige colgando en tus manos.

MENTE

Tu siges en mi mente, dia y noche. Te pienso, te extraño, te amo. Mi mente no sabe olvidarte. Mi corazon menos.

ALMA

Tu eres el amor de mi vida. Te has penetrado hasta lo mas profundo de mi alma. Siges tan dentro de mi.

 

Gracias a todos por dejar me compartir un pedaso de mi. Thank you for letting me share a little piece of me. 

 

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Gratitude, Beauty & Lashes

Well hello again friends! How is everyone doing out there? Are you happy to be entering into February? I know I am! There is a lot to be thankful about as this month comes to an end. How many of you made New Year resolutions? Are you staying on track? I honestly am not a resolution person, but I do believe in goal setting. My main goal for this month was to stay rooted in the Word. I have been very intentional about seeking more of God and spending time with Him, each day, preferably in the mornings, as I enjoy the sunrise. There is something so serene about waking up at dawn and spending some quiet time with the Lord. It helps set the tone for my day and allows me to view my life from a place of gratitude.

So today or tonight, when ever you read this, I want to challenge you today to just take a moment, take one deep breath and visualize what you are most grateful for in this day. Then do it again tomorrow, and again the next day. I promise you, your days – no matter how good or bad they are, you will always be able to find something to be grateful for. Try it!

To catch you up on how I am doing: I am in-love with this super cool, exciting place I am in right now in my life. Every year, I try to choose a word that sets a theme for my life in this new year. This year, I chose the word RENEW. If you have been following my blog for some time now, this may not come as a surprise to you. I have been through the most challenging yet rewarding time of my life with my divorce. Through it, I discovered so much about myself and I have grown from my experience into a whole, unique and new person. It is amazing how God transforms us, especially through our brokenness.

These past two years, as I have been dealing with unresolved issues, working my way through my own guilt and shame about what transpired in my marriage and divorce. It has been a season of pruning and restoration. God has renewed spirit and mended me. I learned so much about what it means to be at peace in my solitude and how to find comfort in the Lord instead of things or people. Granted, there were a ton of wonderful people that prayed over me and encouraged me along the way too. However, God is healer.

I’ve found so much beauty in the ashes. Right when I thought the worst of my life and couldn’t see the light in the darkness, God was there. What is most exciting though about my journey, is not just the healing and growth that has taken place, but the fact that I am able to live out some of my most wildest dreams. I’m doing things that I love. I am encouraging others in the same ways that people comforted me. I can’t even begin to tell you how many “divorce talks” I have had, with people entering the same season I once found myself in, and the hope I am able to share with them about what God can do through the pain. It is pretty incredible to be able to see God use my testimony for His glory.

Aside from that, I have also been presented with so many cool and fun opportunities to do more of the things that I love. I’m learning music, I am singing more, I’m drawing and painting, I am writing, I’m part of a book club…

There is literally just so much goodness in my life, it is pretty hard to focus on anything else but that. Even on my worst days, my life is pretty peachy! My life is well-rounded right now. I won’t say that I don’t miss having a companion, because there are times that I do. More than anything though, I am just excited to see how God continues to use me, make me and mold me.

Lastly, I want to share how bomb Lash Boost is! Y’all this stuff seriously works!!!! I previously reported, here, about an opportunity I had to be a product tester for a sweet friend of mine. She sells R + F Products (Rodan + Fields) and I had been very much impressed with the results she kept posting about her lashes and I just knew I needed to get my hands on it. Sure enough, we worked out a little deal and wala – guess who has gorgeous lashes now? Yup! I sure do. If you are interested in purchasing some product or learning more about R + F, reach out to my friend here. You won’t regret it.

 

Well gals, that is it for now. I’ll type y’all later!

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Single AF and Diggin’ It

Well, I have officially been divorced 1 whole entire year and 8 months to the day. I honestly can’t believe that I am only 4 months shy of being divorced for 2 whole years. It went by fast and let me tell you that I am proud of where I am. I can’t even remember the last time that I cried for Obed. Of course I still miss him on occasion and yes, we still talk from time to time, but most days, it is just me, myself and I!

I never knew how much I would enjoy being single post divorce. It is seriously amazing! I buy myself fresh flowers every week. Taking relaxing baths without interruption is life! I get the entire bed to myself on the nights I am not out sleeping on my balcony in a hammock and I don’t have to take anyone’s suggestions on dinner options. I just cook and eat what I want. Cooking for 1 – however, is still a challenge!

Life is grand y’all! There are so many exciting things happening in my life right now – like seriously! Being single has helped me come into this new appreciation for myself and what it means to be confident, bold and happy – like truly happy! Happiness, I’ve learned, is an inside job and I can now say, with certainty, that I am secure in who I am and what I want. I am super choose-y about who and what I will allow to occupy space, time and energy in my life. I only want the best – anything less than that, is simply not worth my precious time or energy.

I’ve spent so much of my time as a divorcée getting reacquainted with myself and with God. I have read countless self-help books and dug deep into the bible. I also make it a point to surround myself with family and friends that only speak life into my world. You know, people that lift me up and believe in all my goals, dreams and aspirations? That’s my tribe! It’s quite healthy and really helps me to look forward to what is yet to come.

Previously, I wrote about dating and being a little “playa-fo-life” but that just ain’t me, baby, it ain’t me! haha I had boo’s all over the world y’all! One of my besties even nicknamed me United Nations! hehe Dating is just not for me right now. I would rather focus on myself, crush my goals and let the next Prince Charming that is going to waltz into my life, sweep me off my feet – completely off guard! Doesn’t that just sound so pleasant? I imagine he is going to be pretty amazing to be able to handle me and all my wit, glory and sass! Do y’all even know how crazy it is going to be for me when I find a mate?

I feel like I loved Obed so much and I could never even fathom the idea of loving anyone else besides him. Now, however, things have changed. Sure, he still holds a piece of my heart, but my heart doesn’t bleed or yearn for him anymore. I am over it! ha No, not really, but I am healing and I have made a lot of progress. I still have so much love to give!

I have some really neat and important news to share soon, but I don’t want to give it all away in just one blog post (must spark curiosity and keep you coming back for more). I’ve got to build some suspense people! ha I hope everyone is doing well and life is treating you kind. I also hope you are receiving more peaches and cream rather than lemons. My wish for you, where ever you find yourself now, is that you would take a moment to appreciate the life you have, the people that are in it and the simplicity of the beauty that surrounds your every day life. If you search for goodness in your life, you will always find it. Be happy, be grateful, and be humble.

Appreciate what you have, the trials that have strengthened you and the love that you carry within. Don’t fret if you feel like you are alone in your suffering, whatever you might be going through. Rejoice and know that God is with you.

& ON THAT NOTE I WILL SAY: As-Salaam-Alaikum my friends! Virtual hugs, love y’all! XO

 

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